Darcy and Michael
by Charlotte Thompson
Summary: So Darcy is daughter of Frank and Brad. Michael is son of Janet and Rocky. Yes they know they are technically related, but there is no genetic info passed so it is ok. T for language and violence.
1. Chapter 1

Darcy was writing poetry in her notebook and listening to the Moody Blues on her iPhone. Michael snuck over unnoticed beside her. He quickly turned the page, making Darcy yell over her already loud music. He quickly scrawled hi. He looked at her. Darcy smiled. "Hi Michael."

He pointed to her pen. She gave it to him, knowing Michael avoided talking under any circumstances. She never heard his voice in the sixteen years she had known him.

Michael wrote "I want to do something for you. Something special. I want..." When Darcy was finished reading she looked up.

"I want to talk to you." Michael said.

Darcy's jaw dropped. "You spoke."

"Yes. I wanted to make sure you heard me. You are very special to me, Darcy." Michael noted. He slowly wrapped his hand around hers.

Darcy just kept staring. It was all she could do. She tried to find words. All she found was "We just hang out when my parents invite yours over or vice-versa."

"Yes, but you have pages upon pages of things I don't even write my parents." Michael noted.

"Like what?"

"Well the incident at summer camp."

"Oh. When they hung your underwear on the flagpole?"

"Yes."

"That was funny. I told you some pretty embarrassing stuff but I tell my parents everything." Darcy reminded.

"Is your hand numb?" Michael asked.

"I don't mind holding hands. I like it. Out of all of the things I have experienced in a romantic relationship, hand holding is a solid second." She answered.

"What is the first?"

"Kissing."

"What about sex?"

"I am a virgin."

"Good, so I am not alone. Who was your first kiss?"

"Alexander Williams. He and I were best friends and one day in after care he just kissed me."

"Mine hasn't happened yet." Michael said.

"But you are the freaking quarterback! You had to have kissed!" Darcy protested.

"I refused." Michael said.

"Why?" Darcy asked

"Because of you." He responded.

"How?"

"From the moment I first met you... Ah...mon cœur s'ouvre à ta voix. I would travel half the world to say I belong to you."

"You were listening to MUSE on the way here weren't you?"

"Guilty. My most guilty conviction is loving you."

"Just say it simply. I have the same conviction towards you, I merely need it to be stated in three words."

"Darcy, I love..."

"Michael, I love." Darcy said. She gently kissed his cheek. "If you would like we can walk together to my class." She suggested. She held his hand. He smiled.

He stood up and walked her to class. When they reached said class he asked "Are you free to tutor me in chemistry?"

"Yes. Of course."

"Bonds. In reference to length."

"Of course. After school?"

"Sure. My mom may not be able to pick me up so I was thinking..."

"You know my dad would drop off Hitler at a concentration camp." Darcy said. Michael laughed. She added "It's funny because it's true."

"So would you want him to take me home?" Michael asked.

"No, I want you to stay for the night. Or at least a bite."

"Will you show me your favorite obsession girl who is starting to sound like her mother?"

"He has perfectly legit flirting techniques." She defended. He laughed. The first bell rang. Michael and Darcy's eyes locked. Both were figuring out mentally who would be bold enough to make the move they were both thinking of. Michael gave her a hug. "I'm sorry for this but I don't have time to savor a kiss."

"It's ok. My explanation of bonds will go over much better." Darcy hinted.

Michael smiled. "See you later Darcy."

"See you. See you at LUNCH! You somehow narrowly avoided me all year!" Darcy exclaimed.

"Wasn't avoiding you! Forced to sit with jocks!"

"Ok! Bye!" Darcy exclaimed.

"Who was that?" Melody asked.

Darcy smiled. "Michael Horror."

Melody gaped. "He talks?"

"Yes. He speaks fluent English." Darcy explained. "And used to be able to write in perfect French. But that was years ago, to be exact two."

"Really? You two used to have conversations in French? That is so corny!"

"Isn't it corny and awkward to use the word corny?" Darcy asked. "The fact of the matter was I was about to kiss someone and it was going to be magical. You on the other hand haven't even had your first kiss yet."

"If I had wanted my first kiss I'd have had it already."

"I don't know."

"How about Max. He likes you."

"Who?"

"Max McQuaid black hair glasses braces."

"Oh him? No. We'd never work out. I'll never date him. We have nothing in common" Melody said.

"Well would you kiss anyone in this hallway?" Darcy asked.

"Um..." Melody started.

"What are you too scared?"

"what? No!"

"I dare you to kiss someone in this hallway."

"Dammit Darcy! You know I can't resist a dare!"

"Yes. I know. Which is why you should go do it." Darcy suggested. She tapped Max's shoulder and gestured to Melody. Darcy whispered "Now's your chance!"

Max nodded. He walked over. "Um... h-h-h-hi Melody.

"Hi weird nerdy kid. Oh I found just the guy!" She ran over to a motorcyclist who had tattoos and a strong bad boy attitude.

"MELODY NO!" Darcy and Max yelled.

Melody just kissed him. They were hot and heavy kissing in under five seconds.

Darcy shrugged. "I'm sorry Max. Maybe she'll change her mind."

"I hope so. Creeps like Bobby Aday need to be spayed or neutered."

"Here here! Well I tried my best. Maybe it isn't time yet."

"Well you know what they say. If you love something set it free. If it comes back it is yours. If it doesn't it was never yours in the first place." He said.

"She will in time. There is the same magnetic pull between you and her that there is between me and Michael." Darcy noted.

"I hope so." Max said.

Darcy asked "Do you need a hug?"

"Sure." He answered. Darcy gave him a quick hug.

"See ya later, Max!" She exclaimed.

The teacher opened the door.


	2. Chapter 2

"So... Do you actually want to talk about bonds?" Darcy asked.  
"Yes." Michael noted.  
"So there are three types single double and triple. Depending on the substances one can determine how close or far each part is from another inside a molecule."  
"I recognize that. I just can never remember how they work."  
"The bonds?"  
"Which ones are close and which ones are farther apart." Michael said.  
"Ok so single bonds are the easily breakable bonds. They also have the farthest distance apart." Darcy scooted away an arm's length. "Like this. If you want to think in people it may be like a crush or a one night stand."  
Michael nodded. "Then there are double bonds which are stronger and less far apart." She scooted back to where she was. "Like a steady boyfriend or girlfriend in high school."  
"Unless you are us."  
"Triple bonds are the strongest and closest bonds." Darcy said, leading her lips to his slowly. He smiled and slowly allowed his to touch hers in a light kiss. She wrapped her arms around his neck. "This would be like us."  
"Oh my god yes." Michael said, still captivated in the kiss.  
Darcy smiled. "So anything else chemistry related? I think Brad is picking us up and he would make a point to say if we were not studying."  
"And we know Frank would."  
"So Mom would tell us to stop kissing and get in the car." Darcy said. "Dad on the other hand, would be all like no premarital sex. Don't do drugs. Don't drink. Don't smoke. Don't show him your first dissection of a frog brain..."  
"Oh I remember! Your frogbotomy!"  
"Don't show him your levitation thing Darcy. They think we're satanic enough..."  
"Aren't you Anglican? I think we went to church once or twice together."  
"Please don't make us sound different Darcy. Would it kill you to wear shirts that actually COVER your shoulder?"  
"Oo sexy shoulder."Michael said.  
Darcy laughed. He touched her shoulder. They ended up French kissing.  
"Darcy dear get in the car! I assume Michael is coming with us too? Your dad totally called this!" Frank yelled.  
Darcy laughed, holding hands with Michael as she ran to the car.  
Frank smiled. "Hi Darcy. Hello mini Rocky." He said, making sure all the doors were closed and they were ready to go.  
"I do not look that much like my dad! And he never went through adolescence or puberty!" Michael protested.  
"Michael you know I am just joking."  
"Yes, but I am not my father." Michael pointed out.  
"I love how it took you forever to talk to me but seconds to talk to my mom." Darcy noted.  
"It's ok Darcy. He used to write me stuff too but I made sure Janet and Rocky recorded him talking so when this kind of thing happened I was all cool. And plus that started a thing where he would record his voice for adults and then play."  
"And typically the constant things I just had a tape for. I didn't do that with you because it was impersonal and I wanted a direct connection to you." Michael said.  
"And think yourself lucky. Brad will flip when he hears you speak." Frank said.  
"Melody flipped when I told her you spoke." Darcy pointed out.  
"She is just weird. That girl was pretending like I was one of those London guards." Michael said.  
Darcy smiled "If you stay still long enough she stops bugging you."  
Frank smiled. "Nice one Darcy but be nice to your sister!"  
Darcy leaned on Michael's shoulder. "I will when she is nice to me." She noted.  
Frank sighed. "Well try to be the better girl. The standard isn't very high, but still. Let's stop complaining. Your sister brought someone home too." Frank said.  
Darcy looked surprised. "Wow, she really hit it off with Bobby."  
"Oh he is bad news." Michael said.  
"Brad is going to love you so much Michael. And I bet you Brad will take you on some sort of manly outing in the next week." Frank noted.  
"I sure hope so." Michael said. He pointed to a tree outside their house. "I remember holding that exact tree back for you every time we came through here. If it was raining you would sing that lullaby, Over at the Frankenstein Place."  
She nodded. They came up to the gate. "I remember climbing this gate with you."  
"Darcy would come back with a scabbed knee or in one case a stitch on her forehead. Michael maybe would come back with a scratch or two and Melody would have at least one bone broken." Frank noted.  
Michael laughed "Oh I remember your Frankenstein scar." He rubbed his finger across the area where the scar tissue grew. She still had a bit of scar above her eyebrow.  
Darcy smiled "I remember you wrote me the most beautiful thing about how the clouds congealed one day in that exact spot."  
Frank pulled into the driveway. Michael and Darcy walked out together. Michael and Darcy held each other's hands. They took a breath in unison. They walked inside.


	3. Chapter 3

Brad smiled. "Hey! So I guess I called it huh? I guess you two have almost been inseparable since you were in the same aftercare as preschoolers." He noted.  
"Yeah." Michael said.  
"Take care of her. I know you will." Brad assured. He looked at Darcy. "Pull up the shoulder on your shirt Darcy you look like a slut."  
"It is a rock shirt. It supposed to be ripped up. Dad get out of this dream of yours this isn't 1950." Darcy pulled up the shirt sleeve slightly as she said it.  
"Just don't get any weird piercings or tattoos dedicated to people. People change, tattoos don't." Brad reminded.  
"Sweetheart, I have two tattoos. And remember what happened in Vegas that didn't stay in Vegas?" Frank asked.  
"Ok. But we are soul mates. I can have a secret tattoo. She cannot."  
"Not until she is the legal age to obtain a tattoo. Then she has told me she always wanted a red rose as a tattoo someplace inconspicuous." Frank explained.  
Darcy smiled. Michael held her hand. "I am behind whatever changes you want to make except one. No tongue piercings."  
"Yuck." Darcy said. "It must be gross to feel metal when you are making out with someone. Plus the fact I had braces. I have had enough oral pain."  
Melody came in with Bobbie.  
"Speaking of pains." Brad started.  
"So Brad you have ink too? I have six!" Bobbie exclaimed.  
"Wow. Six doesn't verge on dickish at all..." Frank murmured sarcastically.  
"This one is the King, Elvis. Uh... Oh! Here is my dedication to my motorcycle gang. I have the cover from Bat Out of Hell. This is one has my policy." Bobby explained.  
Frank read "Sex drugs and rock n roll. Oh if Columbia only had the warning sign up the side of my arm."  
"Michael you don't have any tattoos do you?" Brad asked.  
"No. And if I did it would be tasteful. Probably a Shel Silverstein reference." Michael assured. Brad nodded.  
"You are a good guy Michael. We should go fishing." Brad suggested.  
Franks gestured to them. Bobby ignoring them explained "these two show that I actually have a moral system. This one was a funny story. So I asked for a flaming cross so like a cross made from flames but they took a sacrilegious turn. So I have a fire with a cross in it. And the other is devoted to my mom."  
Frank looked at the picture to see it resembled Whistler's mother aka Eddie's mother. "Why are my daughters' choices so very similar to my exes?" He asked looking to the sky.  
"And why does this one have to resemble EDDIE?" Brad exclaimed.  
"Who is Eddie?" Bobby asked.  
"Old lover." Frank said as Melody said "uncle".  
"Incest? Awesome!" Bobby yelled.  
"No! It is one of those things where we call him my uncle but he is a friend of the family." Darcy explained.  
"Was someone talking to you?" Bobby asked.  
Darcy said "Excuse you?"  
Michael stood between the two. "Come on guys! Don't fight!"  
"She talked." Bobby said.  
"She is a human being! She is a beautiful strong woman! She..." Michael exclaimed. Bobby took out a switchblade and cut Michael's arm a bit and drew blood.  
"Nice turn Michael! You never want to be a Benevolio. You are a much more suitable Romeo." Brad exclaimed.  
Frank instructed "Darcy dearest take Michael up to the lab and try to keep the wound clean and try to help it clot until I can examine it a little better."  
Darcy took out her sewing scissors, slipped her left arm out of its sleeve, cut the sleeve off and wrapped it around Michael's wound and kept pressure on it. Michael smiled.  
Brad sighed and said "And now you can never wear that shirt to school!"  
They took the elevator up to the lab.  
"My girlfriend- a regular Florence Nightingale." Michael noted.  
"Well it probably isn't the most sanitary idea but I think it works for two minutes until I can clean it up and put an actual bandage on it." Darcy said.  
Michael smiled. Darcy smiled "Ok so find someplace to sit." Michael sat on the inner ledge of the area where Rocky was born. Darcy got a warm wet towel and the bandages. She dabbed the wet towel around his wound. "You know this is where your dad was born right?" She asked.  
"No wonder why I felt a deep connection."  
"Your parents had sex in this thing."  
"That is why I am on the edge. My parents have fucked everywhere in my house. It is not new."  
"Ok. Just double-checking my dear."  
"Shouldn't you be wearing gloves?" He inquired, noting the blood on her hands.  
"I should, but if you have some sort of disease, I would contract it anyway." Darcy said. She checked the wound. "He left a gash."  
"Am I still bleeding?" Michael asked gently.  
"Um…" Darcy said, looking at the wound. "I think so. But since I can see it I can just put pressure on the gauze." She wrapped the gauze around his wound and put some pressure on it.  
"Didn't my mom heal my dad in this thing too?"  
"Sorta. She ripped her slip and neglected everything but one hand. I actually am trying to help you." Darcy said. "And by no means are you getting lucky with this nurse."  
"Believe me, not interested. My arm is hurting like hell." Michael noted.  
"Yea. You will probably need stitches." She noted. Michael gulped. "You saw Mom do mine. And I will be here to hold your hand the entire time." Darcy reassured.  
Michael let out a sigh of relief "Ok."  
Frank came up the elevator. "Ok, just needed to have a bit of a chat with Bobby." He put on his pink gloves. "Darcy where are your gloves?" Frank asked.  
"He needed me more than I needed gloves." Darcy answered.  
"Go wash your hands and put them on." Frank said. "I understand what happened, you just don't want to spread anything." Darcy did so.  
"Ok, so let's find an area where Janet wasn't singing about wanting to be touched. Ah here we go." Frank led him to the new slab. "This is where I fix all of Melody's broken bones. The girl will be bionic by the end of her life."  
Darcy held Michael's hand that didn't get in the way. Just to be rebellious she made sure the hand that was holding Michael's didn't have the a glove on it.  
Frank took out a pre-threaded needle. "Came from a totally sanitary drawer. I do this when I have nothing else to do." Frank made sure to note the details. Michael laughed. Frank offered. "You can either be awake or with anesthesia."  
"Anesthesia." Michael said. Frank nodded. He gave him anesthesia. Darcy helped Frank with the actual sewing.  
Darcy also got to wake him up. "Michael sweetie, wake up."  
"Huh?" He asked dazily.  
"Your arm is all stitched up. You have to keep it straight." She said. He nodded.  
"I love you Darcy."  
"I love you too Michael."  
"I have become comfortably numb." He sang.  
Darcy smiled. Frank smiled "I will leave you two alone. Yell if something bad happens."  
Darcy sat up on the slab. Michael moved so his head was in her lap. "I love you."  
"I love you too." She said.  
"Darcy you are very pretty."  
"Thank you."  
"I don't think I know anyone who is so resourceful. You are so smart Darcy."  
"I am well-trained." Darcy noted. "I wouldn't be here if it weren't for Mom."  
"Why do you never call your mom Frank but always call your dad Brad?"  
"Dad and Brad is a syllable off. My dad never told me not to call him Brad because he didn't typically hear the difference. He kept thinking it was a phase and just kind of stuck. I also rebel against him a lot."  
"Speaking of which, I have a jacket. Do you want to use it? I mean Frank gave me a blanket so I am not cold but are you?"  
"A little. Where is your bag? You may be too sedated to stand up." Darcy asked.  
Michael pointed. Darcy smiled as she put on the jacket. "Oo it smells like you." Darcy smelled the sweet aroma of her boyfriend. She put on the leather jacket. "Oo real leather."  
He nodded. "Perks of having a male model as a dad. Free designer clothes."  
"Have you ever seen something with your dad's modeling on a big screen?"  
"Yea. He was on a bus and it was weird."  
"Was it underwear?"  
"Yes. His crotch was like right in front of everything and everyone on that bus knew it was my dad." He explained.  
Darcy laughed. "My mom has done some crazy things over the years. Took out a bullhorn and yelled stuff about Melody and I, played Dude Looks Like a Lady at maximum level with all the windows down and almost always requires out of car hugs for dropping off."  
"Wow." Michael said. "I am so surprised I don't have like some sort of wild libido because of my sedation."  
"You probably learned better from your parents." Darcy noted. "Plus we have so much life to live. I love you and know you are the one, I just need some time."  
"Not in a hurry in the slightest. Plus the fact my mother was literally a prostitute at one point." Michael said. "I can't imagine how awkward it would be if you were leaning your head on my lap."  
"Can we change the topic?"  
"Can you please stroke my hair?"  
"Of course my baby." She explained. She kissed his forehead and stroked his hair.  
He asked "Can you help me sit up? I want to kiss you."  
She smiled and gently helped him sit up. "Wow that is... Dizzy. Worth it but dizzy."  
Darcy suggested "I have a shoulder to lean on if you want."  
"Just curious can we kill Bobby?"  
"Soon probably. I will give him a black eye for you, Michael."  
"That's my girl."  
"He lays a hand on me and I will castrate him."  
"Actually THAT is my girl."  
"Mom taught me how to do it on a couple animals we had hanging around the house. I even know how to spay or neuter a tribble thanks to my mom."  
"That must be hard."  
"Sorta. It is harder but eh."  
"I hope Melody has the same policy. If not, Dad will cover the killing thing."  
"I hope she is ok too." Michael noted. They held hands and Michael leaned on Darcy.


	4. Chapter 4

"So Bobby. Melody. Couch. Now." Frank said.  
"Do I have to?" Melody asked.  
"Yes."  
"Will Darcy and Michael get this talk?"  
"If Michael gets out a switchblade on someone. Otherwise Brad handles the basic lectures."  
"I should check on him…"  
"Darcy's boyfriend isn't your business."  
"What if I was dying?"  
"I am a doctor, my love."  
"What if I was already dead?"  
"Well you are seconds away from it if you don't sit down." Frank warned.  
Melody sighed and plopped on the couch.  
Bobby asked "What is this about?"  
"This is about the fact that you hurt Michael and treated Darcy in a rude way. Michael is practically my son and always has been and Darcy is in fact my adopted daughter. I am like a Mama bear when Darcy or Melody is mistreated, and I am recognizing how much animosity she has developed towards you because of you hurting Michael. Therefore you messed with my daughter and therefore that shit doesn't fly here." Frank explained.  
"Why am I here?" Melody asked.  
"You were the one who picked him." Frank said.  
"Well technically Darcy dared me."  
"Oh I remembered her telling me about trying to set that sweet and innocent Max up with you. You know she purposely waited until the hall was generally clear."  
"She said someone in the hallway and Bobby was there and a good kisser!" Melody exclaimed. "And don't lie Mom, you know you have done that before."  
"And I was mean and manipulative! I will do anything I can to prevent you from ever dating a guy like I was." Frank explained.  
"Bobby is not a guy like you!" Melody exclaimed.  
Brad fake coughed "Eddie!"  
"He isn't like Uncle Eddie!"  
"Well there is the slightly overweight, ripped jeans, boots, came riding in on a motorcycle, has the same damn vest and the same looking mom. He also threatened Michael's life with a switchblade knife. All he needs to do is start singing Hot Patootie and make out with your hand and he is Eddie."  
"WHO THE FUCK IS EDDIE?" Bobby exclaimed.  
"Ok so Frank had an ex named Eddie. He also had another ex named Columbia. Technically he wasn't broken up with Columbia yet and was sleeping around with guys. Columbia is a girl and…"  
"Wait your mom is a lesbian?" Bobby asked.  
"While I am flattered that you think I am a woman, I am a man. There for awhile I was bi but then found out I am gay." Frank explained.  
"Ok so Columbia gets cheated on and then cheats with Eddie. Eddie winds up in the Deep Freeze upstairs with only half a brain, Eddie comes out when Frank already had made himself another man named Rocky and sings Hot Patootie. Frank kills Eddie, finishes the song Eddie interrupted then went off to go fuck Rocky. Then Janet. Then me." Brad said.  
Frank smiled patted the seat beside him. Brad came and sat. He gave Frank a quick puckered kiss.  
"I hate it when old people kiss." Bobby noted. "It doesn't help now that I know you are a man."  
Frank squeezed Brad's hand so hard it started to turn blue. He breathed and tried to count to ten to make the anger go away, but it persisted.  
"Calm down, Mom. He's not Eddie." Melody said.  
"Though I probably would end up with a transvestite…"  
"Please tell me you like teddy bears."  
"What?"  
"If you value your life say yes."  
"Why?"  
"Because I said so."  
"Seriously? Are you sure you want to take the dominant role? Because I get more… violent when not in control." Bobby said. Melody gulped.  
"Yes, Bobby." Melody whispered obediently.  
Frank asked "What the fuck just happened here? If that happened to Darcy, Bobby you would be castrated."  
"What?" Bobby asked.  
"Ballsless!" Frank exclaimed. "Melody you need to stand up to man."  
"No! I love him!" Melody protested.  
"Love?" Bobby questioned.  
Darcy rode down the elevator with Michael. "Suddenly the world seems such a perfect place" Darcy sang.  
"Suddenly moves are such a prefect grace." Michael sang.  
"Suddenly my life doesn't seem such a waste." Darcy and Michael sang.  
"It all revolves around you." Darcy sang. They kissed and moved to the other living space.  
"That is love, Melody." Frank and Brad pointed out. Frank went to move his hand into Brad's and recognized he instinctually grabbed it.  
"Well Darcy and Michael are fucking PERFECT!"  
"Well first of all I had no fucking idea you LOVE me! I may love you back if you can properly answer a question. Am I your boyfriend?"  
" yes."  
"Right! So cool. Wanna go make out?"  
"Uh huh." Melody answered.  
The door rang. Frank answered it. "Michael said he was with you." Janet noted.  
"He is. He and Darcy are keeping it PG."  
"Awww I actually came over to see how that went."  
"Well. Talking to Melody about her new bad boy bf. Want to put in a couple words?" Frank asked, moving aside.  
"Yes," she said. "Eddie bad boy or you bad boy?"  
"Eddie. And since it involves Michael getting stitches because this guy cut a bit of his arm you should say something. He is all in one piece, I assure you."  
"If Michael had a severed arm I am sure you could just sew it back." Janet assured, sitting on the opposite side of Brad. She gave Brad a hug. "Hi. Fill me in." She said.  
"Ok so Darcy in an attempt to get Melody with a good sweet guy named Max inevitably failed because she forgot about how Melody thinks. Darcy and Michael are together in the other room and probably being Frank and I cute. So wanna say how you feel?"  
"Why Michael? He just goes straight to the peacemaker side. He is a sweet smart kid. And if you hurt Michael again or do anything to Melody, be guaranteed there will be a pack of fabulous people ready to kill you. And if you touch my son again, be assured you will be killed twice before you hit the floor."  
Frank smiled. Michael came in "Hey mom! I heard you seething."  
"Hi sweetheart. I assume everything worked out with Darcy?" She asked.  
"Well yeah! He just inconspicuously grabbed my hand and we just clicked." Darcy noted.  
"Aww! Just make sure you don't click too much."  
"I AM A VIRGIN!" Darcy exclaimed.  
"I was too." Janet said.  
Michael sighed "Uninterested mom."  
Janet hugged Michael. "Are you alright?" She asked.  
"Yes. I texted you so like hours ago. With a picture of my wound. You either wanted to be awkward with Darcy and I or catch up on general gossip."  
"Your dad and I had... Catching up to do."  
"I am going to just assume on Glee and while I know I am wrong just... Don't correct me." Michael half begged.  
Darcy kissed Michael's cheek. "You are so cute."  
Melody asked "can I leave while you all catch up?"  
"Melody, darling we are all caught up." Frank noted.  
Bobby asked "hey Melody wanna go for a motorcycle ride?"  
Brad tried to stop Melody from answering.  
"Cool your jets Brad. He specifically said motorcycle. He doesn't intend to fuck her." Frank noted.  
Brad sighed. "Alright..." He started.  
Bobby and Melody went out on the motorcycle together.  
Bobby asked "So what do you want to listen to?"  
"Elvis."  
"I am really starting to like you Melody."  
"Me too." Melody said.  
Bobby got on the motorcycle. Melody came in behind him. "Oh um Melody with the airbags you may have to hold a bit lower."  
"Ok, but motorcycles don't have airbags."  
"Just do it. unless you want to end up like Michael..." Bobby started.  
Melody gulped "Ok." She said, moving her hands closer to his lower pelvic region.  
During the ride, Melody lost a bit of her grip and fell. "Ow my head! And my leg hurts too. I think I burned it."  
"God what a frickin scatterbrain! Falls off the goddamn motorcycle!" Bobby exclaimed.  
"Well excuse me! I can't help my accident-proness!" Melody exclaimed.  
"What was that?" He seethed.  
"Ya heard me."  
"Do you want to be in intensive care?"  
"My mom is a doctor."  
"That doesn't mean I can't hurt you."  
"You wouldn't." Melody said. Bobby punched her in the eye.  
Melody started crying. "Ok I'm sorry! Can you please drive me home?" She asked.  
"If you can stay on the fucking motorcycle." He said.  
"I will." Melody said in almost a whisper.  
When she got home she tried to dodge her parents. Without taking his eyes off of the magazine he and Janet were looking at, Frank said "Melody. Couch. You are limping hiding a black eye and generally look like a human punching bag with a slight concussion."  
"I'm fine mom."  
"Melody sit. I need to know what I need to fix."  
"Nothing's broken."  
"Come on. I am going to stay here and take care of you. Brad is going to go get some milk. Janet is going to go watch Darcy and Michael. Oh by the way popcorn." Frank said. He handed Janet a cup full of popcorn.  
Janet smiled and ran off to go be with Michael and Darcy. Frank put down the magazine and patted the seat next to him.  
Frank said "come here my baby." She sat next to him. "You can snuggle up with me." She leaned her head on his shoulder.  
"Melody, he is hazardous to your health."  
"But he is a good guy! I can change him!"  
"Baby, everybody thought they could tame me. Melody, you need to think about yourself."  
"But dad tamed you!" Melody protested.  
"Your father never tried to hurt me honey. If he truly loves you, he won't hurt you." Frank noted.  
"But it was my fault!"  
"No! It was not! Your dad planted a camera on Bobby. We heard everything. It was not your fault."  
"You did? When?"  
"I dunno. Brad can be sneaky. Probably when I was saying something." Frank said  
"Oh"  
"Now back to Bobby."  
"What about him?"  
"He is still hurting you. I want you to go upstairs. Get on the slab. Breathe. I need to check you out." Frank said.  
"I really am fine mom. Its just a burn."  
"How does your head feel?"  
"I have a headache."  
"You probably hit your head and have a concussion."  
"Im sure its not that bad. I just need to lay down,."  
"Upstairs so I can check you out." Frank finished.  
"Ok." She walked to the elevator and went to the lab.


	5. Chapter 5

Brad drove up beside Bobby with his Volvo station wagon. "Hi Bobby."  
"What do you want?"  
"You need to be held responsible for your actions Bobby."  
"SHE fell off the goddamn motorcycle!"  
"But you gave her a black eye."  
"I was mad!"  
"We want to help you. I mean I am much better than Frank. He wanted to take the air out of one of your tires, put your head in a bag and drive you to our house where he would hit you 39 times and crucify you. With a special nail for your balls and the eye you hurt on Melody."  
Bobby stopped driving. "What will you say?"  
"Well I won't say you should be castrated like Darcy says and have your arm cut off and spoon your eye out. Watch you scream and bleed until you die."  
"What did that other chick say?"  
"Janet? She got very Sweeney Todd with it."  
"Really?"  
"She wanted to knock you out with a leg of lamb, chop you up into a well ground pile of meat and then bake you into a pie." Brad explained.  
Bobby gulped. "What do you want to do?"  
"Load up my shotgun and kill my daughter's misery named Bobby."  
"How many shots?"  
"One quick one in a vital organ, maybe two just to make sure you are dead." Brad said.  
"Why would you be nice?"  
"I am not into torturing. Now see if you raped her..."  
"I didn't."  
"I know. So do you want to hear what I have to say?"  
"Ok. What is it?"  
"Violence will get you nowhere in life. I know a couple anger-management therapists that could really help you."  
"I don't need no shrink."  
"You can't do this forever, Bobby."  
"What? Will you just send me home to let the transvestite play Pilate for awhile?"  
"That was right after Jesus Christ Superstar so it could be different now. He could do the whole flogging thing, the whole crucifixion thing, chop you up and feed you to the thing living in our basement."  
"He wouldn't."  
"Oh he would. He would even freeze you, dress you up in a corset that kind of itches, fishnets and heels that hurt like hell and do your nails and makeup. And make you perform a song. Then do all that other stuff."  
"What? It was great when it all began. I didn't look like such a fucking fag..."  
"You better wise up Bobby Aday. If you want to live another day. You better wise up Bobby Aday. You've laid the seed. And that is all I need. You're as violent as a pilot fighting in world war three. Can't you see that you're starting to get to me? Got a block? Take my advice. You better wise up Bobby Aday." Brad sang.  
Bobby laughed. "You don't scare me."  
"Bobby, we ate Eddie. Frank would never let a good corpse go to waste."  
"Why should I go with you if you would just kill me?"  
"I am a lawyer. We could sue you for all you have. Then you would wish you were dead." Brad said.  
He gulped. "But my family is poor."  
"But you, Bobby are a total dick." Brad answered.  
"Is this all because I said fucking fag?"  
"After you cut my future son-in-law and punched my daughter after allowing her to fall off of your motorcycle." Brad said. Bobby sighed. He got in the back seat.  
"This is cruel and unusual punishment." He said.  
Brad said "I am not particularly going to do anything."  
When Bobby arrived, Brad led him to the lab. Frank noted. "So, Melody has a concussion."  
"And?" Bobby asked.  
"You are going to be dead."  
"I'm sure I will see everyone in Hell."  
"You will definitely see me. Satan and I are besties." Frank noted.  
Brad nodded. "Satan sends us a Halloween card every year."  
Darcy smiled evilly. "We know how you are dying." Melody was there too.  
Frank took out the horse whip he still had from Riff. Bobby was hit one short of bleeding to death (39 times it was divided in two so Melody got the last half of whips).  
Darcy smiled. "This was a last minute idea but everyone liked it." She cut off the bottom half of his arm. "Revenge for my love." Michael was only cut slightly.  
Melody smiled as Bobby looked towards her. Frank handed her a pick axe. She went nuts hacking away at his body until it was a corpse.  
Darcy, Melody, and Frank's hands were drenched in blood. There was a silence for awhile until Frank asked "Anyone in the mood for pie?"


End file.
